An 18th Century Wedding

Today, as in the 18th century, a wedding is one of life’s most anticipated celebrations. Few things are as deeply steeped in tradition.

In colonial Virginia, marriage was an expected right of passage. Bachelors and single ladies were few and far between. Young women who didn’t marry were considered a burden upon their families and an old maid by age 25. Courtship often began through meeting at a social occasion like a dance or party. As the relationship progressed, “courting candles” would be lit during each meeting—when the candle burned down, courting time was over.

Paternal approval of a prospective spouse was crucial. Whether parents consented to a marriage was generally dependent on financial considerations and social status, rather than romantic love. Prior to marriage, very specific provisions regarding land and wealth were formally arranged. Washington described the widow Martha Custis as an "agreeable consort for life." Her wealth, apparently, did little to diminish her amiability.

The wedding ceremony usually began around midday, with the officiating Anglican minister traveling to the bride's home. The proceedings were taken directly from the English Book of Common Prayer and followed by communion. After the simple ceremony, it was time to party—with lots of food and drink, lasting for several days.

Christmas was actually the most popular time for weddings. The 12 days of Christmas were the height of the colonial social season. Since so many people were already gathered together in a celebratory mood, it made an ideal time to get married. George and Martha Washington wed at her home in Williamsburg during the Christmas season, and several years later, Thomas Jefferson married his wife Martha on New Year’s Day.

In 18th-century Virginia, music and dancing were integral elements at any celebration. Dancing gave young men and women a socially acceptable setting to speak and interact with one another without being overheard by their parents. George Washington was said to have been an exceptional dancer and had dancing slippers imported from London. Unfortunately, Martha Custis Washington did not share her husband's enthusiasm for the activity.

Giving guests or hosts a gifts originally started as a wedding tradition, as early as the 16th century. In the 18th century, guest often received wedding favors like gloves, scarves, garters, or ribbons. In some places, a bowl was passed to collect goods or money for the newlyweds. In others, the groom, riding on a pole, was carried to a pub to treat his friends to a drink. Perhaps the original bachelor party.

Of course, over time, all these traditions have grown and evolved. It’s always fun to follow the time-honored rituals of the past, but also be sure to create at least one new tradition that will make your wedding day uniquely your own.

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